All I Want For Christmas
by Lady Tyria
Summary: *Yaoi* A Lost Christmas Wish


All I Want for Christmas  
*Warning-Yaoi*  
Ok, here's the last of my fics that were presents to Ami-chan. This is yaoi, and maybe a wee bit grim. Strange for me, but still. Enjoy!  
  
Life is a drag. I can never get what happens, and nothing ever happens the way you want it to.  
I've tried to tell him, but everytime I look into his angelic blue eyes, I freeze. How can I ever tell him?  
It'll ruin him. I would spoil his purety, and for such selfish reasons. I couldn't live with myself.  
He's led such a protected life. He hasn't experienced this sorta thing. He has to stay protected. He's the only one of all of us with a shot at getting into heaven.  
After all, I know for sure I'm going to hell. But to spoil it for him... I'd deserve much worse.  
The longer this goes on, the more likely I am to break and tell him. I can't let that happen.  
I can't...  
I lift up my clown mask and look at it as it stares back blankly. I walk into the storage/prop room.  
the ring-leader is there. "Ah, Trowa, I'm glad you're here. Can you finish putting these outfits away for me? Thanks, boy."  
He walks out of the room. I put the acrobat costumes away, then, I clear a large area of the floor.  
I break open the lock on my sister's trunk and dig through her belongings until I find what I am looking for. A small, flat, indescriminant flat box...  
  
When Catherin told me that Trowa wasnt going to join us at the week long christmas party, I got worried. Anytime _Wufei_ agrees to something and Trowa doesn't, you know something's wrong.  
Trowa... all alone practically at the circus. Poor him. Maybe I can make his Christmas more... cheery.  
I bite my lower lip as again I increase my carrier's speed. For some reason, I feel rushed to get there... Why?  
Finally, after what seems like hours, I get to my destination. I land the carrier and a man, obviously the ring-leader, comes out to greet me.  
"Hello. I'm sorry son, the circus is closed for the season."  
"Oh I know that. I'm Quatra Raberba Winner, and..."  
"Winner? From _the_ Winner family?"  
"Uh, yah. I'm Trowa's friend, I thought he might like some company."  
"Yes, of course. He's in the prop room, backstage. It's easy to find."  
"Thank you very much." I walk into the tent, and to the backstage, where most people never get to look. Sure enough, ther's the prop room. I walk in and almost faint from what I see...  
Trowa's on the ground, unconsious. His wrists are bleeding profusly. Next to his right hand, on the ground is a dagger. The dagger is obviously one from Cat's knife throwing act.  
I take off my vest as I rush over to him. I rip the material into strips and I tie them tightly around the twin gashes, slowing the blood loss as much as I can.  
I yell out and within no-time, the man from before is there. He hurries off again right away to phone an ambulance. For no reason to I leave Trowa's side, not during the entire trip to the hospital.  
  
I regain conciousness but I don't bother to open my eyes. Too much pain, too weak. What went wrong? Why am I still alive?  
The ringleader must have come back and found me. I' in a bed, so I must be at the hospital.  
Someone's holding my hand gently, it must be Catherin. So, they called her back.  
I don't want to be here! I should be dead! I SHOULD BE DEAD!!"  
From the door, I hear a questioning, "Master Quatra...?!?" The voice gets no verbal responce and Rashid's heavy footsteps move from the door back out to the hallway.  
Quatra? Quatra is here? He came all this way? Where... I have to see him!  
I open my eyes quickly. Too quickly. It makes my head spin. I look up, and see his angular face looking down at me.  
"T... Trowa?" He stands up and I feel the hand slide from mine. Quatra hugs me, holding me close to himself as he begins to cry.  
Being so close to him... It numbs my mind. However, my limbs are not numb and seem to have a mind of their own as I feel my arms wrap around him in a comforting, friendly way.  
I rest my head wearily next to his. I'm so close I can even smell his shampoo. A scent that is vaguely apple...  
My eyes widen with the realisation that Quatra is no longer crying. So why's he still clinging to me so...?  
I look up into Quatra's tear-stained face. Looks like that wasn't the first time he'd cried today. "Trowa... I..."  
Suddenly, he leans forward and I inhale sharply as his lips meet mine. tey stay there a few seconds, then he pulls back and turns away, starting to rise to leave.  
No! He doesn't even know that I feel the same way! I grab him by the shoulder and spin him to face me. As he starts to say that he's sorry, I pull him back down to me.  
When again our lips part, he looks to me, his blue eyes sparkling with joy. He sits down next to me on the bed.  
"You missed the beginnig of a great party." He jokes.  
"..."  
He laughs and leans closer. Rashid looks in to check on Quatra and his eyes widen. "Rashid, I think you should leave us alone for a while..."  
"What? Uh, yes, Master Quatra, of course." Quatra laughs light-heartedly again as Rashid makes a hasty retreat. I love the sound of Quatra's laugh.  
"Don't you want to know why I..."  
"trowa, I don't care why you tried to kill yourself, as long as you promise never to do anything like that to me again!"  
"I promise. I'm not going to do _anything_ like that again."  
He smiles. "Well, as long as I'm here... What do you want for Christmas?"  
"All I want for Christmas is you."  



End file.
